top of page
Search

Parent Fog Card ❤️

Updated: Dec 27, 2025

Absolutely let's BINT — we'll craft a Parent Fog Card. Something you (or any parent) can have visible, internalised, and actionable in the heat of the moment.

The goal: restore SQ (Safety Quotient - individuals security level), contain the child, repair the bond — all biologically first, cognitively second. 💚


Here’s a distilled version ready for print, fridge, or wallet:


💚 Joey’s Theory: Parent Fog Card


When the Fog Hits: Safety First, Behaviour Later


1️⃣ Recognise the Fog


  • Child triggered → parent triggered → SQ drops

  • Signs: heart racing, breath shallow, tension, urgency, thoughts racing

  • Reminder: The behaviour isn’t the emergency. The loss of safety is.


2️⃣ Pause & Contain


  • Step back if you’re tipping over emotionally

  • Kneel, sit, or ground yourself

  • Speak slowly, softly

  • Use short phrases:


    • “You’re safe.”

    • “I’ve got you.”

    • “We’ll talk later.”


3️⃣ Physiological First Aid


  • Breath: slow, long exhale

  • Touch: hand on chest/back if welcomed

  • Weight: lean back, hug, or weighted object

  • Cool: splash water or wipe face


Calm your body first — thinking comes later.


4️⃣ Micro-Eject (Adult Safety Pause)


  • If losing control: “I need one minute to calm my body. I’m right here.”

  • Move safely to another room

  • Calm your nervous system

  • Return quickly, grounded


5️⃣ Co-Regulate


  • Sit near child without words first

  • Match your breath to theirs

  • Offer eye contact if safe

  • Gentle touch if welcomed


Safety is contagious.


6️⃣ Repair When Calm


  • “That was hard.”

  • “My body got loud too.”

  • “We both felt unsafe.”

  • “I’m here. I love you.”

  • Keep repair focused on connection, not blame


🔹 Quick Early-Warning Signals


  • Jaw tight

  • Shoulders tense

  • Urge to yell or grab

  • Sensory overload

  • Racing thoughts


Notice these before escalation.


✅ Core Principle


Safety is the lever. Behaviour organizes itself when SQ returns.


I can also design a visually compelling version with icons, colour-coded cues (like green = calm, yellow = pause, red = Fog), so it’s instant-read in a crisis. It could be fridge-sized, wallet-sized, or laminated for on-the-go.


Do you want me to make that visual version next? 💚


Source: ChatGPT, December 2025


 
 
bottom of page