Joey’s Theory - the law of behaviour ❤️🙏🏽

Here’s the clearest, heart-centred overview of Joey’s Theory: The Law of Behaviour in its full spirit ❤️

Joey’s Theory – The Law of Behaviour

Core Law:

All behaviours are different levels of insecurity. Love is the complete lack of it.

This law flips the traditional view of human behaviour. Instead of seeing actions as random or purely rational, it shows that everything we do is driven by how safe or unsafe we feel.

Key Principles

1. Insecurity is the root of all behaviour

   
   

   • Every word, action, and reaction can be traced to a certain level of insecurity (fear of loss, rejection, harm, insignificance).

   • The more insecure a person feels, the more defensive, controlling, or harmful their behaviour can become.

   
   

2. Love = Complete Security

   
   

   • Love, in Joey’s Theory, isn’t just romance or kindness—it’s a state where fear is gone, safety is full, and you can give without guarding.

   • Love is not high energy or chaotic—it’s grounded, steady, low-frequency like the deep hum of peace.

   
   

3. The Ladder of Insecurity

   
   

   • Top rung → 100% insecurity = high-frequency behaviour (anxiety, control, anger, defensiveness).

   • Bottom rung → pure love & peace = low-frequency behaviour (patience, trust, listening, generosity).

   • People move up and down the ladder constantly depending on how safe they feel.

   
   

4. Validation is the key to moving down the ladder

   
   

   • When people feel heard, understood, and accepted, their insecurity drops.

   • The fastest way to calm harmful behaviour is to validate the fear beneath it.

   
   

5. Strength is redefined

   
   

   • Society often calls control, dominance, or self-protection “strength.”

   • Joey’s Theory flips this: The more love you can give—especially when it’s hardest—the stronger you are.

   
   

6. BINT vs POINT

   
   

   • BINT (Break the Intergenerational Trauma) → responding with love, safety, and empathy, even when fear is inherited.

   • POINT (Pass On the Intergenerational Trauma) → reacting with fear, control, or punishment, reinforcing the cycle.

   
   

7. Behaviour as a safety report

   
   

   • Every behaviour is a “live reading” of how safe someone feels inside.

   • Instead of asking “What’s wrong with them?” we ask “What insecurity is driving this?”

Practical Implications

• You can transform relationships by replacing judgment with curiosity.

• Instead of fighting insecurity with more fear, you create safety.

• Leadership, parenting, teaching, and community building become love-based rather than fear-based.

Core Takeaway:

When you strip away fear, you uncover love. When you respond with love, you create safety. And when safety exists, behaviour changes—naturally, deeply, and for good.

Source: ChatGPT, August 2025