Joey's Theory: A Comprehensive Briefing

Executive Summary

This document provides a comprehensive analysis of Joey's Theory, a behavioural framework developed by Australian thought leader Nina Fitzgerald. The theory's central tenet, articulated in 2011, is that "All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it." It posits that negative actions such as violence, anger, and ego are not inherent character flaws but are manifestations of deep-seated insecurity, essentially functioning as calls for help and validation.

Conversely, love is defined as the complete absence of fear and the ultimate state of security, representing humanity's greatest strength.

The theory was inspired by Fitzgerald's experiences with a 35-year-old Sulphur-crested Cockatoo named Joey, whose trauma-based, fearful behaviours transformed into affectionate ones when he was provided with an environment of absolute safety and security.

This core insight proposes a "human paradigm shift" away from traditional Western cultural conditioning, which reinforces responding to insecurity with offense or defence. Instead, Joey's Theory advocates for meeting insecurity with empathy, validation, and love to heal its root cause.

Key concepts include the "Ladder of Insecurity," a spectrum mapping behaviors to specific levels of insecurity; the distinction between high-frequency, exhausting energy (insecurity) and low-frequency, sustainable energy (love); and the redefinition of societal values. The theory calls for a new era where strength is measured by the capacity to give love, and social status is determined by an individual's level of inner security, not by external markers like wealth or power. Ultimately, Joey's Theory presents a roadmap for personal, societal, and global transformation, envisioning a future grounded in compassion, authenticity, and collective well-being.

I. Foundational Principles of Joey's Theory

A. The Core Tenet: Insecurity as the Root of Behaviour

The fundamental principle of Joey's Theory is the statement: "All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it." This concept reframes the understanding of human and animal actions.

• Insecurity as the Driver: All actions, with the sole exception of love, are considered expressions of an underlying state of insecurity.

Behaviours such as violence, bullying, anger,

jealousy, manipulation, ego, and depression are not viewed as character defects but as symptoms of fear, inadequacy, or a need for validation and safety. They are described as "calls for help."

• Love as the Antithesis: Love is defined as a state of complete security, "simply the lack of all fear." It is presented as the most authentic, powerful, and developed expression of a being's potential. To forsake all fear and embrace love is described as the strongest one can ever be.

B. Love as the Ultimate Strength

The theory presents a counter-cultural redefinition of strength, moving away from conventional notions of power and dominance.

• Redefinition of Strength: True strength is defined as the ability to "love deeply and unconditionally," a capacity that originates from a place of profound inner security and resilience. True power is rooted in compassion.

• Love as a Source of Power: A core motto of the theory is, "The more love you give the stronger you are." This principle posits that giving love is not an act of vulnerability or weakness but one of empowerment that strengthens both the giver and the receiver. It is a paradox where selflessness cultivates personal power.

• Exemplars of Secure Love: Figures such as the Dalai Lama and Mother Theresa are cited as examples of individuals with "the incredible security to give with love constantly," embodying the theory's ideal of strength.

C. The Genesis of the Theory

The theory's development was catalysed by Nina Fitzgerald's interaction with a rescued Sulphur-crested Cockatoo and reinforced by significant life events.

• Inspiration from Joey the Cockatoo: The theory is named after Joey, a 35-year-old cockatoo who initially exhibited extreme fear and aggression, biting Fitzgerald 25 times in 18 months. Fitzgerald realized that Joey was operating from a state of fear "in every moment."

• The Transformative Approach: By shifting her handling of him to a "super protective relationship" focused on making him feel safe and secure, his behaviour transformed immediately and obviously. By being offered love (the lack of all fear), Joey overcame 35 years of insecure conditioning and was able to reciprocate love.

• Cementing Events: The theory was further solidified by two other experiences in Fitzgerald's life: nearly losing her father and the suicide of a close friend. These events highlighted the profound impact of security and validation on well-being.

II. Key Concepts and Frameworks

A. The Ladder of Insecurity

Joey's Theory uses the "Ladder of Insecurity" to visualize a spectrum of behaviours and their corresponding levels of insecurity.

Love represents complete security (0% insecure), while the most destructive acts represent total insecurity (100%).

• Insecurity Level

• Associated Behaviour

• Description

0%

Love

The complete lack of all fear; giving completely and freely of oneself without any insecurity.

1%

Altruism

An act of selflessness that subtly makes the giver feel good and more secure, thus containing a minute element of self-benefit.

55%

Ego

A lack of inner security leading to a need for external validation, attention, and energy from others.

75% / 85%

Anger

A state of deep insecurity where offense is used as a defence mechanism to attack and "steal energy" from others.

76% / 85%

Jealousy

An extremely insecure state related to feelings of threat, inadequacy, and comparison.

90%

Depression

A state of immense or "huge" insecurity.

100%

Suicide, Murder, War

The ultimate expression of insecurity, stemming from feeling insecure about everything.

B. The Power of Validation and Secure Responses

Validation is identified as the essential mechanism for healing insecurity.

• The Role of Validation: By making an individual feel seen, loved, accepted, and safe, validation reduces behaviours that arise from insecurity. It creates a "secure energy bubble" or "safe zone/energy field" that is magnetic and draws others in.

• Responding to Insecurity: The theory critiques the typical Western cultural response to insecurity—offense (fight) or defense (capitulation/flight). It advocates for a secure response rooted in empathy and love.

    ◦ Scenario 1 (Conditioned Extinction): If an insecure behaviour like anger is met with no reinforcement (e.g., people walk away), the behaviour may eventually be extinguished.

    ◦ Scenario 2 (Secure Response): If the person under attack responds securely with empathy (e.g., asking "Are you OK?", "What's up?", or offering a hug), the insecure individual instantly feels validated and safer, leading to more secure behaviour in response.

C. High vs. Low Frequency Energy

The theory distinguishes between the energetic states of insecurity and love.

• Insecurity as High Frequency: Insecurity and its associated behaviors (fear, anxiety, anger, jealousy) are described as "exhausting and high frequency." These states are volatile, consume significant mental and emotional energy, and lead to physical tolls like muscle tension.

• Love as Low Frequency: Love, balance, and security are characterized as a "sustainable lower frequency." This state is calming, grounding, and promotes peace and resilience.

• Cultivating Low Frequency: Individuals can move closer to a state of love by engaging in low-frequency activities, which can be anything one loves doing. Examples include:

    ◦ Connecting with nature

    ◦ Meditation, swimming, scuba diving, golf, hiking

    ◦ Creative pursuits like painting or music

    ◦ Helping others, which is described as "the most sustainable form of love" because it validates both parties.

D. Intuition and Authenticity

Trusting one's inner wisdom is a central theme, positioned as a path to a fulfilling life.

• Core Mottos: The phrases "Intuit, do it" and "Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition" encourage acting on inner guidance.

• Intuition and Fearlessness: Intuition is linked to a state of security and love (the absence of fear). When an individual is not governed by fear, their intuition becomes a clear and reliable compass for aligning with their true purpose and unique self. The motto "Danger stop, fear go" encapsulates this shift: discerning real threats while releasing unfounded fear creates space for intuition.

E. Desperately Seeking Validation (DSV) and the Power of Silence

The theory critiques common communication patterns as being insecurity-driven.

• DSV Explained: Nina Fitzgerald suggests that "most talk is a form of DSV (Desperately Seeking Validation)." This implies that much of human communication is not for genuine connection but is an attempt to seek external approval to soothe inner insecurity.

• Authenticity in Silence: In contrast, silence and authentic presence are presented as more powerful forms of communication that stem from self-acceptance and inner security. A secure individual does not need to fill the quiet with noise to prove their worth.

F. Intergenerational Trauma: BINT vs. POINT

The theory provides a framework for understanding and breaking hereditary cycles of insecurity. The acronyms introduced are:

• BINT: Break the Intergenerational Trauma.

• POINT: Pass On the Intergenerational Trauma.

This concept highlights the choice individuals have to heal and create secure environments, rather than perpetuating fear and insecurity for future generations.

III. Societal and Global Implications

A. A Human Paradigm Shift

Joey's Theory is positioned as a catalyst for a fundamental change in human consciousness and societal structure.

• A New Cultural Conditioning: The theory proposes a new way of raising children and structuring society based on security, not insecurity.

• Behavioural Evolution: It posits that the next stage of human evolution is not physical but behavioural. This evolutionary leap will be propelled by the collective realisation that insecurity dominates behaviour and that a culture of love and security must be reinforced.

B. Redefining Social Status and Success

A core implication of the theory is the complete re-evaluation of what constitutes success and high social standing.

• Traditional Metrics: Conventional Western society measures success and status through external markers like wealth, possessions, power, and professional achievements, which fosters competition and insecurity.

• A New Measuring Stick: Joey's Theory proposes that "an individual’s level of security, not insecurity, will be the recognised ruling denominator of social status." True leaders are those who are free from insecurity and can give love unconditionally. Success is measured not by accumulation, but by how much love one gives.

C. Critique of Modern Society

The theory offers a critical analysis of societal structures that perpetuate fear and insecurity.

• The "Emperor's New Clothes" Metaphor: Nina Fitzgerald identifies with the boy in the story, suggesting she is speaking an unpopular truth: that many of society's celebrated leaders and stars are, in fact, "some of the most insecure people on the planet." The broader population conforms to the "lie" of their strength due to socially constructed fear.

• Media's Role in Spreading Insecurity: The media, including news and social media, is identified as a primary driver of insecurity. It is argued that news outlets knowingly perpetuate fear and sensationalism because it is contagious, captures attention, and "sells ads." Social media is likewise driven by DSV, as users post inflammatory content to get a response, creating a cycle of escalating insecurity.

D. A Vision for the Future

The widespread acceptance of Joey's Theory is envisioned to create a radically different world.

• Personal and Community Impact: Relationships would be defined by deep empathy, families would prioritise emotional intelligence, and neighbourhoods would become supportive networks.

• Societal and Global Transformation: Education would emphasize compassion, economic systems would prioritize well-being, and governments would invest in social unity.

This would lead to the dissolution of international conflicts, a collective love-driven effort for environmental conservation, and a celebration of human diversity and cooperation.

The ultimate vision includes harnessing "massive global love-based energy."

IV. Key Figures and Mottos

A. Key Individuals

• Nina Fitzgerald: The creator of Joey's Theory. She is described as an Australian thought leader and emotional intelligence educator.

• Joey (Cockatoo): A 35-year-old Sulphur-crested Cockatoo whose transformation from fear to love was the catalyst for the theory.

• Becky Jo Quinn: A work colleague of Fitzgerald's whose conversation helped spark the initial realization about Joey's fear.

• Camille Beaux: An interviewer who has conducted multiple interviews with Fitzgerald about the theory.

• Supporters: Ian Judson, Sussanne Sweet Pea, and Vera Liea Watiningsih are mentioned as individuals impacted by or commenting positively on the theory.

• Influential Figures (Quoted): Daniel H. Pink, Martin Luther King Jr., and Mahatma Gandhi.

B. Core Mottos and Quotes

• "All behaviours are different levels of insecurity; love, is the complete lack of it."

• "The more love you give the stronger you are."

• "Love is simply the lack of all fear."

• "Danger stop, fear go."

• "Intuit, do it."

• "Your ecstatic destiny is enacting your intuition."

• "Security attracts security and insecurity attracts insecurity."

• "Underneath our insecurities we are all perfect."

• "Receive love. Share love. Multiply love."

• "If it's not love, it's insecurity."

• "Everyone's scared. Help everyone."

V. Practical Application and Call to Action

Joey's Theory is presented not just as a philosophy but as a practical guide for living. The call to action is for both a personal and a collective shift toward prioritising love and security.

Individual Practices

• Recognize Insecurity: Acknowledge insecurity as the root of challenging behaviors in oneself and others.

• Offer Validation: Instead of reacting with offense, respond with empathy and validation to create safety. Practice sincere listening.

• Cultivate Self-Security: Engage in low-frequency activities like mindfulness, meditation, journaling, and connecting with nature to build inner resilience.

• Give Love Freely: Make a conscious effort to offer love, kindness, and help in all interactions.

• Trust Intuition: Listen to and act on inner guidance rather than fear-based conditioning.

• Practice Conscious Communication: Talk less and only when authentically intuited, avoiding the trap of DSV. Be mindful of media consumption to maintain a secure internal frequency.

Collective Transformation

• Redefine Societal Values: Challenge and shift cultural norms that reward insecurity-driven behaviors and external markers of success.

• Transform Systems: Advocate for changes in education to include emotional intelligence, promote compassionate leadership, and encourage media to focus on positive, empathy-driven narratives.

• Build Community: Foster inclusive and supportive networks that break cycles of intergenerational trauma and create environments where security and love can flourish.

Source: Notebook LM, October, 2025