Joey’s Parenting Compass ❤️

🐦 Joey’s Theory in Parenting: Safety First

🌱 Core Reframe

• Old Paradigm: “How do I make my child behave?”

• Joey’s Paradigm: “How safe does my child feel right now?”

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🔄 Parenting Shifts

Old (Fear-Based) - Joey’s Theory (Safety-Based)

“Stop crying or you’ll get nothing” - “I can see you’re really upset. I’m here.”

Time-outs to “teach a lesson”. - Time-ins to co-regulate and reconnect

Rewards & punishments - Connection & emotional safety

“Because I said so” - “Let me help you feel safe so we can solve this together”

Shaming (“bad boy/girl”) - Naming the feeling (“You’re having a hard moment”)

Forcing apologies - Modelling repair when everyone is calm

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🌬️ Daily Practice: Safety First

1. Pause & Sense → Ask: “What fear is driving this right now?”

2. Lead with Regulation → Your calm body is the intervention.

3. Validate the Feeling → Feelings make sense, even if actions don’t.

4. Protect, Don’t Punish → Be the boundary and the safe place.

5. Reconnect & Repair → Safety opens the door to natural repair.

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👶 Age-Specific Examples

• Toddlers (meltdowns): Get low, open arms, “You’re so mad. I’m right here. You’re safe.”

• Primary-age (defiance): “Something feels unfair. Tell me what’s scaring you.”

• Tweens/Teens (withdrawal): Sit outside the door: “I’ll be here when you’re ready — no fixing, just listening.”

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🌟 Long-Term Outcome

Children raised with Joey’s Theory grow up knowing:

• Big feelings are welcome

• Mistakes are repaired with love, not shame

• Their worth is never in question

• Self-regulation comes from thousands of co-regulations

We are not raising obedient children. We are raising safe humans who will make the world safer.

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DeepSeek overview of Grok summary: November, 2025